My New Year’s Resolutions

In Schroder’s Thoughts, AjaxDaily writer Lukas Schroder reviews the last week from the perspective of a somewhat cynical Ajax-fan. New pieces will come out every wednesday.

This will be my last piece of the year. The coming month I will spend on my university-work and getting drunk every now and again. So, in the spirit of New Year’s, I will share with you my new year’s resolutions. Enjoy.

  • Bitch less about Ajax
    Things are looking up. We are better than we were last year, and this could turn out to be a very successful season. I’m a negative and cynical person, but I want to change that next year.
  • Forget all about Nemanja Gudelj
    This is going to be a tough one, but once he’s gone, I should stop thinking about him three times a day. Also, I should stop refreshing his Twitter-page to see if he has unblocked me yet (no, so far).
  • Never again judge a Daley Sinkgraven by his cover
    He is actually a very, very solid left back. I was mistaken, Daley. Can you please forgive me?
  • Don’t just say whatever pops into your heat, you f*cking idiot
    Last week, I called Kasper Dolberg ‘a little bit autistic’. Absolutely no harm intended, but I got some bad responses. Again, totally unintended, as the remark was intended somewhat playful, but I’ll need to filter these kind of sentences out of my pieces. 
  • Learn English
    I don’t know what’s wrong with it yet, but everyone keeps telling me I suck at it. So, I’ll look into it (or is it in to it? Hell, I don’t know)
  • Stop complaining about The Telegraaf
    They’re absolute sh*theads. Deal with it, Schroder.
  • Try to control the urge to punch Dirk Kuyt in the face
    I really liked him at Liverpool. But ever since he put on a Feyenoord-kit again, I just want to slap him in the face. That’s bad. I should control that.
  • Make sure we sell Davy Klaassen and Joel Veltman
    Cc: Marc Overmars
  • Buy some damn competition for Younes
    CC: Marc Overmars
  • Be grateful for every second we still have Ziyech, Sanchez and Dolberg in the squad. They’ll be gone in no time.
  • Look up the phrase ‘frogs in a wheelbarrow’
    The Telegraaf uses this analogy to describe the players who are benched by Peter Bosz. I know no-one who has a clue what it means, but they just keep using it. Sh*theads. 

Well, that should be enough to keep me busy next year. Thanks for reading my columns and sharing them and bitching about them. Keeps me sharp. Merry Christmas and a happy new year, Ajacieden!

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Written by Lukas Schroder

Lukas writes every Wednesday for AjaxDaily. His love for Ajax is only transcended by his hate for Nemanja Gudelj. Got called 'The worst writer of all time' on Twitter once. Wears that like a badge.

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